Is He/She Claiming You?


A lot of people look for validation in their relationships in the most common way known to mankind; the person publicly claiming you. It can be done in any form; an introduction to his/her friends or family, the title -boyfriend/girlfriend-, the changing of the Facebook relationship status, the Public Display of Affection (PDA), or by simply letting each other know where they stand in the relationship, meaning it and acting the part. Now some folks are a little more private than others and don’t necessarily need to shout from a mountain top, but if needs be, he or she would just to prove their position.

I happen to fall in the category of private; no relationship status updates, no excessive PDA, no social media posts. But what I do require is the introduction to the people that matter most in your life- your family and friends. What I require is for you to make me feel so secure in the relationship that I don’t have to ask if, who or what I am.

It all depends on the kind of relationship that you bargained for. If you settled at half price then expect the half love, and if you paid hard earned full cash, then the product should reflect the price paid.

If you have to ask the person you are with any of the following questions, your answers will be in bold.

So what are we?   NOTHING!

Where is this relationship going? NOWHERE!

Am I your girlfriend/boyfriend? NO!

Are we together? NO!

We are hunters by nature; if a man want’s that new car then he’s going to work to get it, and if a woman want’s that new shoe, you better believe she will be wearing it. So if the person you are with wanted you, then he or she would have hunted for you. Nothing will stand in the way of a person who sees what they want and stop at no means to get it. In short, if you are not hunted, you are not wanted!

Writing from a female perspective is easy, most of us want the same thing, but I find that men are willing to just work with the flow if a woman isn’t claiming him.

Strat says: The relationship would have been outlined from the get go; lovers or FWB (friends with benefits) so there would be no need to wonder where you stand with the person. He’d know she’s his girl or his fling.

Cece says: If you have to wonder then it ain’t your man. I can understand being private but an introduction to mommy and daddy is necessary.

Trecia says: If you are with someone who isn’t claiming you or is keeping you a secret then it’s just not serious. He’s only there for the convenience (sex etc) not someone to build a life with.

Don says: He wouldn’t take her serious if she’s not claiming him. He’d just work with it if there is something in it for him.

Lacye says: If I’m not claimed to your friends and folks then ‘wi nuh deh’.

Tracie says: I’d want to be claimed or else I’m wasting my time. I’d think he has someone else.

Hackeem says: If she isn’t willing to claim me, then it’s because she’s really not interested or has someone else.

Cordel says: If after months of legitimate dating- consistently seeing each other, sharing and being intimate- and I’m not considered his girl then I’d think he’s embarrassed or is playing me. I’d find out where his head is at then decide whether to stay or leave.

Roechelle says: If I’m a secret to his mother or his close friends, then it’s obvious I’m not worth it. If he saw any good in me then these important people SHOULD know about me. If he intentionally refuses to introduce me… “Just hold on i’m going home”

 Hahahahahah Drizzy on em!

Everybody is different, we all show emotions in our own way. Some people like to put it all out there, while others and more private. In the end it’s the action that should matter and not necessarily what you ‘say’ through social media or in public. If the FB status isn’t changed and whatsapp DP (display picture) isn’t updated, it is by no means an indication that you are not being claimed. Actually, I think the excessive social media posts are a bit too cheesy for my taste but hey… like I said we all show love in different ways. And on second thought, if you are with someone that makes you feel so great that you can’t help but to shout it out or post if on FB, then hell, POST IT! There is NOTHING wrong with putting your partner on a pedestal, showing him or her off and professing to the world that “This is bae!!!” (Trying to be hip with the bae lol)… Because quite frankly, that’s what genuine love does!

On the other hand, if I’ve never met your family, I’ve never been introduced to your close friends, I am always ‘just a friend’, we can never be seen in public in an intimate setting, I’m always the girl at home in the dark and I’m still questioning what we are, then to me you are embarrassed, there for the convenience and there is no future!!! This secret isn’t worth being released, and I’d think you are ashamed of me.

So the next time you are in a so-called relationship and you have wonder ‘are we together or naah?’ Do like Michael Jackson and ‘BEAT IT’.

In my Asian accent ‘if he or she no hunt, he or she no wont!’





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