We have all seen the movie or read the book, ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’. For me, it has been both and there is one topic in particular that I want to address in this blog; The 90-day rule.
They say a woman can’t be a woman by doing the things a man does. What may be acceptable and ok for men, is frowned upon when a woman does it. I once saw this animation that read:
Woman: Master, why is that when a man has sex with many women he is considered a champion, but when a woman has sex with many men she is considered a whore?
Man: Listen well my child… A key that has the ability to open many locks is a master key, but a lock that can be opened with any key is useless.
Funny but true…
I wish to address the issue of how long it takes for the ‘lock’ to be opened, as opposed to the amount of ‘keys’ entered in that lock.
In the movie, Steve spoke of a Fortune 500 company that took 90 days to issue their benefit packages, and so should women when it applies to relationships. 90 days is what is considered the average time for one to decide if the relationship is headed in the right direction or not. But is it that women who take a shorter time are giving it up way too easy or quickly? Is it that women who take a shorter time may just have seen enough to make them take the chance? Is it wrong for a woman to live in the moment and take that chance?
I have not been in a position where I felt so sexually connected or attracted to someone where I needed to experience the intimacy, but I have heard many times of persons experiencing that kind of chemistry with someone. My questions would then be: Do you think less of a woman if she gives it up before the 90 days? Does it matter how long you wait? Isn’t it really about the natural feeling of it happening whenever it does… 90 days or not? Who actually sits around with a calendar and cross 90 days off?
Having spoken to my male friends about the issue, and even taking reference from the movie itself, men think 90 days is way too long. And if they are aware that our aim is to get to the 90 day mark, they’ll stick around long enough to get the ‘cookie’ and STILL leave if that’s all they really wanted. Wouldn’t you agree that men are persistent and patient and will wait as long as it takes to get the sex? And if it is that it requires 90 days then so be it?
My thing is not putting a time on when sexual intimacy in brought into a relationship. I think things should have a natural progression and happen when it feels right. Yes I think sex on the first night isn’t the ideal way to go, but I try not to judge a woman who feels it is her sexual right to share that with someone if she feels the need to in 90 minutes or 90 hours. They always say there is that one guy that can make a woman give of herself in the blink of an eye, and for those who oppose, they are yet to meet him. They say sexual chemistry between two people can be so strong that you feel compelled to go ahead and take a shot. They also say the woman who does this, leaves nothing for the man to chase because he got it without much effort. But if it is that a guy wants to stick around, whether it be 90 days, weeks or months, does it really matter when? And what happens to the woman who waits 90 days and is still left after?
In the end it takes me back to chemistry… If it feels right, it feels right. And though a company’s probation period may be 90 days, the job is still not guaranteed once the 90 days have expired.
We have a way of playing the part to get a role, and once we are in our attitude changes. Men will tell you what you want to hear and do what he thinks is necessary to survive the 90 days, because his goal is at the end is to get the cookie. So who really puts a time on intimacy? Shouldn’t it be because it’s meant to; without being easy of course? And if after 90 days he isn’t quite where he should be, do you give him 90 more?
Get your markers and Calendars ready… it all goes down in 90 days.
Btw, i don’t think the 90 day rule is literally 90 days, but having passed that benchmark, you can consider getting physical.
I AM MS DADRIAN… BE BLESSED!